♥Make me forget you so that I don't have to think of you every night

Took back N level results, and i got 7 points.
Well, i got the points that I wanted. But i expected more.
A2s for English and Math, B3s for Combined Humans, F&N and Sciences, B4 for Chinese
Chinese suck, yes i know. But i did my best, and i've been listening to chinese musics! :D

After all this while, I realise I'm still thinking of you

Pictures from Jacq's party, as promised.
All the pictures we took are here.
My sixteen birthday and chalet pictures will be up soon.

>Camwhored in Kbox with Hannah, Jacq and Althea


>Hannah and Grace




>Hannah, Jacq and me

>Jacq and Hannah

>Althea, Jacq, Grace and Hannah

>Jacq and Grace

More pictures tmrw!

♥Keep me in your memory, will you?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACQUELINE :)

Celebrated Jacqueline's birthday yesterday at Kbox. Is been a long time since I've enter Kbox. Jacqueline's treat! :) Thanks, birthday girl! Crystal Jade for dinner after that, we all ate congee. Then headed to Hannah's place.

Attended Elize's bbq few days back. It was fun, the food was great. Bought her a sunflower :)
Just realise that I actually attended three Bbqs this week! Omgomgomomgomg

Oh! And I've finally got back my Ipod!!! I can finally listen to my music :)
I've been listening to chinese music nowadays, i wonder why.

Omgomgomgomg, N level results are coming out soon.

Anyway, pictures will be up soon.

♥If only i could tell you how much i feel for you. When can I ever see you again?

I went for Tiffany's party at her place. Happy birthday,Tiffany!
I caught up w Elize and Michelle :) Is been a long time since i've last talked to them! Elize used to be my really good friend in Sec one, and michelle used to be my GB squad leader who is always reminding me to come for GB. HAHA. Hope to catch up with you all more :)
There was a time when Elize, Theodore, Swenn, Michelle, Yuqi and me started talking about Primary school days! Hahaha, we had a great laugh about what happen in the Primary school in the past. So many flings happen in the school at that time, tsk tsk. (You know who you are!)
Went home pretty late, then something happen. Shan't elaborate.

Went for Johnson's chalet the next day, had fun. Just came home ytd in the morning. Elize was there, and we talked a lot :) As Elize was working till 11 plus, i went town w Mervyn and Swenn, so that I could meet Elize later to go tgt. Met Elize at 12 at Outram, and we talked a lot in the cab. We all slept at 5 plus but I couldn't sleep, cos it was damn cold. Thanks for the jacket :) Woke up for breakfast at 7 plus, and we went to eat. Then left at 10am.

Omg, my aunt confiscated my ipods and my camera!!!! Cos I stayed over at the chalet, which actually she didn't allow me to. I've no music, cos my speakers at my computer are spoilt too. That left me only w my psp, which only consist of one pathetic song ): I've been playing the song for quite a long time, and i can even remember the lyrics now! How pathetic is that. I almost couldn't survived ytd, due to the loss of music. I'm not exaggerating, but I seriously almost couldn't take it ):

Maybe i shouldn't rush things, and I should take one step at a time. I should let nature take its course, and to wait and see. I should take a rest from relationships and let my friendships and family to revolve around my life, and wait till........ my Mr Right comes :)

I think i've made up my mind to forget you, and to get on with life. Cos since this is the case, and this was what i found out, it really triggered my heart and my heart tells me to let it all go. Thanks for the one year, two months :) I appreciated it a lot.

♥I trusted you all along, and only you. But what did you do?

Follow yr heart.

All my posts will be on my private blog from today onwards, unless i want to blog here.

♥&I'm just wasting my all my life just thinking of you.

I'm fucking bored. Might be going out tmrw tho.
I'm listening to Secondhand Sereande- Maybe.
I love the song :)

Oh, this is my private blog. Only invited readers will have access :)
So, ask me if you want to access.
http://www.lockedlove.blogspot.com/

♥I'll always remember how we came close, i'll always remember the memories

At last, i found a job in Guardian. But confirmation will only be after three days, so i really pray hard that i can get the job! Cos i need the job to kill time and to stop me from thinking about anything and everything.

Oh, and i went for a shopping spree on Friday and Saturday. Is been a long time since i've last shopped. I bought many many chocolates and sweets, a Fuji camera(pink!! :D), Ipod nano-chromatic(pink!! :D) and a black crumpler. I needed a rest, a rest from everything that is happening. I needed to cheer myself up. I realise that whenever I'm sad or even when something bad happen, i'll shop like mad. Maybe that's how i cool myself down.

Oh yessss, and i've created a private blog. But is not complete yet, all the blogskins and everything are not up yet. Will blog again if i'm done with the blog.

People change, things change, everything changed.
Maybe is time to move on, move on and get on with life...

♥I tt you won't ever ever do that, cos i trusted you. You just disappointed me so so much.

I trusted you with all my heart, i trusted you that you wouldn't do this to hurt me. And i trusted you that even if you want to hurt me, i never dreamt that you would do this.

Such expensive gadgets for someone you barely know.. Maybe is not someone you barely knew, maybe you are quite close to the someone, maybe you talk to the someone behind my back even when we are still attached, maybe..... There are just too many maybes, so much so that i can't even think of the worst.

Please try putting yourself in my shoes. Please consider my feelings before doing anything. Please stop hurting me....

Thank God that i have friends, friends who are there for me. Friends like Theodore and Swenn, thanks for everything. True friends like you guys are hard to find. When it was the darkest point of my life, you guys were there for me. You guys stood by me.

♥Only you can save me from my misery that i'm suffering from now

Today stayed home, really bored. Couldn't sleep last night, but finally i fell asleep at five plus when i heard the mrt trains moving.

I still rmb when you came to my place with handmade breakfasts, and company me to school every morning without fail. You'll either take the Mrt or bus to my place. I miss your breakfasts, i really do. Egg and Ham sandwiches? Cheese and Ham sandwiches? Sausages? Honey lemon drink? Chips? I realy miss eating breakfasts every morning with you..

I'm damn bored everyday. I need to do something and not just waste my time away. Maybe i should start working, so i'll not think so much when i'm home alone.

You always thought that i was always stronger to withstand whatever that is happening now. But i'm not as strong as you think.
I always hope to receive a text message or phone call from you everyday. I love you to bits

♥Friends, thanks so much for the surprise. Love, thanks so much for coming. I love you.

Birthday was two days ago. I celebrated it on two seperate days- Thurs and Friday. I celebrated it on Thurs with Celeste, Swenn, Tiffany, Yuqi, Mervyn. Thanks for the cake and the gifts. I appreciated it alot :)

Good friends gave me a surprise on Friday night. I tt they were not gna celebrate my birthday!!!! Cos they told me that all of them were not free. I was damn disappointed!! But.... they went downstairs my place :) And gave me a really really really really surprising suprise!!!! Weeee, my second best birthday i had! :))))

I met them at 7.30pm and they brought gifts :) All of yr presences were the most important thing, and not the gifts actually. And so... while i was wishing, someone was beside me which i actually don't feel it! When i open my eyes, i got a shock of my life. But it was the best best shock ever. I was damn overjoyed that i couldn't help but cried, it was not tears of sorrow but tears of joy. You don't know how much yr presence mean so much to me. After the surprise, we went to have our dinner and we took pictures and went home.

Love,
thanks so much for coming. I was really happy, very very very happy (x10000000) indeed. I had the most shocking shock of my life, which in turn didn't scare me but brighten up my day. The four hours we had tgt are very well-treasured and cherished by me. It has been so long since i last felt so happy ever since things turned sour. And is been such a long time since i last saw you, i miss you god damn much. So much so that i couldn't help but cry when i see you!! I miss you.. really really really too much. Weeeeeeee, i'm smiling to myself now. :)) Anw back to the point... I miss the times we had tgt, both the sad and happy times. And i really wna extend my warmest thanks to you, for coming down and to celebrate my sweet sixteen w me :) I'll not forget my sweet 16 ever ever. :) I love you, hell much.

Friends (Ivy, Shreedhya, Hannah, Jacq, Joey, Bella),
I just wna thank you guys so so so much for this lovely surprise. You guys are really great friends that i really treasure a lot too. Ivy, Hannah, Jacq, Shreedhya, thanks so much for coming!! :) And thanks to the whole group, including Joey and Bella for the surprise too :) Love you, lovelies. I'm really grateful to you guys, I really don't know how to thank you guys for the surprise. This year is my second best birthday ever. I'm glad that i've found friends like you guys that are always here for me. Thanks for everything! :D

Friends (Swenn, Tiffany, Celeste, Mervyn, Yuqi),
Thanks for everything on Thurs too. I appreciate the cake and the gifts too. Thanks for coming, i had rally great fun with you guys. This year's my second best birthday and so, just wna thank you guys! :)

Pictures will be up soon! Weee, i'm a happy bitch :)
I love you so much so that words can't descirbe it.

♥Every night, i pray hard that you can spent my sweet sixteen with me

I'm disappointed, very few are turning up on my birthday.
How does it feels when most of yr friends are not turning up on yr sweet sixteen?


All i want for my birthday is you.

♥My feelings were too loud, that i couldn't even get to hear myself.

Family were great, they surprised me on Sunday with a Strawberry Shortcake birthday cake. Pictures will be up soon.

My sweet sixteen birthday is reaching, in three days time. I'm excited, cos is my sweet sixteen. I think Sweet Sixteen is very important in someone's life. Apart from being qualified to watch a NC16 movie, another reason i think is that this is the point where humans will grow up and mature. I can't believe it myself that I'm 16. How time flies. In a blink of an eye, you may see yourself getting married and starting a family yourself. I'm not trying to exaggerate, but yes, this is how fast time flies.

What is/are my birthday wish(es)?
I have too many to mention.

But the one that i really wish for is that you will celebrate this year's birthday with me. Last year when you celebrate my birthday with me, it was such great joy. Although it was not on the actual day, because i was down with chicken pox(Don't laugh), but i still feel the birthday atmosphere, because i was spending with someone i really love a lot. Everything we do together, everything we wish for together, everything we promise to each other, i remember them so so vividly. That no matter how hard you want me to forget, i won't even forget any of our memories, or i should say that i can't forget any of our memories. You're all that i wished for on this sweet sixteen birthday. I love you.



The pieces of my heart are missing you.

♥I'll remember you, know that i'm always here for you.

I stayed home for the past two days. Didn't feel like going out since is raining too.

I was browsing through my music files, and i found this song.



I think the lyrics are really meaningful, since it is also reflecting my own personal life.

Lyrics:
It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
Hoping they will never change

Cuz what we had can't be replaced
Don't let our memories fade away
Keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
I could do almost anything
You stood right by me
Through the tears through everything

I'll Remember You
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you
No matter what you're going through
In my heart you'll always be
Forever baby I'll Remember You

Oooooh

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared
The tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back
To meet again someday
Even though we go seperate ways

You made me believe
I could do almost anything
You stood right by me
Through the tears through everything

I'll Remember You
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you
No matter what you're going through
In my heart you'll always be
Forever baby I'll Remember You

If the day should come when you need someone
You know that I'll follow
I will be there
Don't ever let there be a doubt in your mind
Cuz I'll Remember YouYou

I'll Remember You
And baby that's forever true
You're the one that I'll always miss
Never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you
No matter what you're going through
In my heart you'll always be
Forever baby I'll Remember You

♥Thank God i still have the soft toys that were from you, which i can hug to sleep.

Slept really late these few days, and due to that, i've really bad headaches. Can't believe that i'm still yawning now. My appetite.. is getting worse too. Sigh.

I wonder what are you doing now and how are you doing too.
So what if i miss you? But i can't hold you.
This is really killing me.

♥If you're happy this way, i'll try to be happy too because loving someone is to make the person happy.

I hadn't been blogging cos i don't feel like. Well, went out w friends a few days ago. I miss you, so so so badly. I don't wish to disturb you in any way, so please get back to me if you want to. I'll definitely reply. I love you.

Why do i cry for no good reasons? Why do i feel so sad for no reasons?
No one understands how i'm feeling now.
Friends disappointed me, even you disappointed me.

I don't wish to die with regrets.
I wanna make full use of the time i have on Earth with you.
But why are you doing this to me?
I wanna spent every second, every minute with you, and not just waste it away.
Yes, i'm afraid of death cos i'm scared i'll not see you ever again when i die.
Do you understand? Do you get it?

What do you do if everyone leaves away from you?

I used to enjoy my life so much. I used to love my life so much, with you. But thanks to you, for all that you've done, i hate my pathetic life so much. Life is so boring. I'm tired of everything, i'm seriously am. I never felt so fucking emo in my life. I don't even know the defination of emo in the first place. But thanks to you, the great work of you, you make me know what is it to be emo. THANKS SO MUCH.

The words you said today, i'll never ever ever ever gonna forget it. Even if i die, i'll rmb it. Cos the words you said are just so so so hurtful that i can't even forget it. Suprised that your words can be so inspiring to me huh? Surpirsed that your words can dash my hopes so quickly huh? I'm really tired of everything. You used to be my everything, you used to be my always there for me. But where were you when i needed someone so so badly? Where were you when it was the darkest period of my life? I don't wish to hate you nor be enemies. So take it as i'm begging you, stop saying all those hurtful words, stop doing things which hurt me.

You claimed that i'll be happy without you, but do you even know how i feel actually? You just left me like that, how am i suppose to take it? When my feelings grew so so much for you, when i dare to say i love you more than anyone does, when you mean so much to me, you just left me like that. You left me just because you want to, but have you considered my feelings? Have you ever wondered is this actually what i want? Yes maybe i've hurt you really a lot, but now i'm willing to learn from my mistakes, change and be a better girf.

People say I'm stupid and freaking dumb to do so much for you. And what i got back was these. But whatever is it, i'm willing and i've no regrets. But thanks for showing me what is it to do and sacrifice everything for your most love one. Now i know the true meaning of real love.

Avenged Sevenfold- Seize the day


Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day [x2 then continues in the background]
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home

Today i woke up at 430, OMG. Cos i slept really late ytd night.

I was busy throughtout ytd. I woke up pretty early cos i'm gna meet Swenn at 11 at her place. We were gonna bake chocolate flavoured muffins. Though it was the first time that me and Swenn baked our first muffins, we decided to give it a try since is for our love ones. We hope that whatever we bake from today onwards, they'll be the ones who try it first and no one else.
As i was rushing out from my bathroom, I accidentally banged onto my bed, and my freaking little toe was stuck in between the thing under my bed.(Don't laugh) And, it bled damn damn a lot, and the worst thing is that my toe was damn pain. I put plasters on my toe, and it look really ugly though. Wore slippers instead of covered shoes. My uncle fetched me to her place and we bought our ingredients.
Amazingly, the muffins turned out really nice and tasty. So, in order to complete the gift, we wrote a letter each which werre from the bottom of our hearts.
So before i left Swenn's house, i smsed him and asked if he's home cos i wna pass the muffins personally to him. But unfortunatly, he was not home. Obviously, my heart sank cos i alr told him the day before that i'm passing to him sth. My purpose of baking for him is to tell him how much i love him, and to apologise for all my mistakes. And of couse, to see him and to see how is he doing if possible. So in the end, i was really disappointed. But still, i went over his house and place it on his shoe rack.

Well i'm quite sad that he actually didn't ask about my injury when i told him about it.. It was the first time i baked muffins for someone, and it was the first time i actually want so much to do something for my love one, but ended up hurting myself. Well, whatever is it, i hope you had tried the muffins i baked for you, cos is specially for you. I love you.

Anw to my own surprise, i actually like avenged sevenfold songs. Omggggg, i used to dislike them. But this song is really nice!



Lyrics:
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her(him) when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her(him) when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her(him) when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

I'll always be here for you.....

Stayed home today, cos I've no mood.
And my appetite is weird, hadn't been eating much lately.
Ever since you left me, I can't seemed to live a life that one should live.
I miss you............so so muchhhhhhhh, that even words can't express it.

"Good friends" are the two words which I really didn't mean to say to you. I said good friends but yknow deep down in my heart, you're my love, my boy, my boyfriend.
I never ever ever treated as my good friend ever, is just how i felt at that point of time because many things were happening. But i never ever ever ever treated you as a freaking good friend at all, not at all!! I can proudly say that i treated you as my beloved boyfriend ever since we started!! And not any good friend. I regretted saying how i felt, i'm sorry. But I just wna say how i feel, I'm sorry if i've hurt you in any way. I really hope you'll understand where I'm coming from. If i could turn back the time, I would definitely say: you're my beloved and sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. Maybe is my wrong of phrasing the words, maybe i pharse the words in another manner which makes you think otherwise. Sorry if i've make you mistaken. Sorry for the miscommunication. My fault for phrasing the words wrongly. I'm so so sorry. I love you, my lover sexy boy.

Words can be so powerful at times, sometimes I tend to misuse it and people will think that they are attacked by it in a negative way. It is time to watch my words, phrase my sentences properly and think before i say.

This a video of David Cook, always be my baby, which had touched my heart...



We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

I'm sorry, i love you.

I don't know what is happening to my health lately. Firstly, i have difficulty in breathing and secondly, i have damn bad flu. And my chest feels tight, thus causing the difficulty is breathing. Well, hope it'll get better soon.

Ytd went for church service with Evan and Swenn. Roam around Town. Thanks for cheering me up once again, Evan and Swenn. Reached home around 1 plus-2am.
Although i know i was tired, but i couldn't sleep. Everytime i close my eyes, is you i see. All i could think was you. Once i fall asleep, i'll start to dream of you. Once i start to dream of you, i'll startled myself and start crying. Once i start crying, i'll start to think of you again. Once i start to think of you again, i'll not be able to get back to sleep. And this cycle has been repeating itself every night. So in the end, i slept at 4am. But somehow, i'll wake up in the middle of my sleep. But there's nothing i could do about it. Thank God is holidays, if not i've been dead by then.

My mind is full of thoughts of you.
My heart is longing for your presence.
My nose yearns to smell your luscious perfume.
My eyes yearn to meet your bewitching eyes.
My ears longs to hear your pleasurable voice.
My mouth yearns to meet face to face with your mouth.

I miss you so badly, but what can I do?

Today went out w jacq and the rest. Thanks for cheering me up.
Was browsing through youtube to find this big bang song.
I'm so sorry but i love you.



Yknow, i really hope you'll forgive me. I'm terribly sorry..
I LOVE YOU.

One of my friends ask me: "What did i see in him?( Him refers to someone who i deeply love)

I replied saying: "Hm you mean before i w him? Or when i'm w him?"

And my friend replied: oh both

I replied saying: "Hm, before i w him. Is because I think he's super hot, and he just gives me this feeling that he'll always be there for me. That he's somone who is very trustworthy. And i can be protected and secured when i'm w him :) "

I replied saying: "And when i'm w him, is because he's really the nicest boyf i've had. No one makes breakfast for me before, except him. No one fetches me to school every morning without fail, except him. He just makes me feel really loved. And he has certainly become a part of my life. Like we're husband and wife. He gives me the support that i needed when i'm down. When he knows that my friends all betrayed me, he stays w me no matter what. After school, straight away find me. Recess, straight away buy me food. Before school, makes sure i go to class. Between intervals, check on me and has small conversations. Ever since i've found him, i realize that no one else could replace him. He was like the one who is for me. He knows me inside out. He throws surprises for me every now and then. This is what i call true love, he showed me the true meaning of true love :)

And my friend replied: " wakao, he's the best sia. LOL

Thanks for everything you've done for me, I know i hadn't treat you well enough in the past. But now, i know the true meaning of love, i know the true meaning of treating someone good and i love you. I'm very sorry for everything, and i regretted.

I miss just a slightly step to see you. I rushed to school, thinking that i can see you. But you left unexpectedly, that was when i started to feel so crestfallen. Went to school today, to help out in the primary school activities, but was late. I was glad that you actually replied me :) thanks a lot for replying. I hope you're happy w yr exam results and study hard okay. Know that i'll be here for you always and forever, so ask me if you've any problems in yr work or anything. I'll be glad to help you, always! :)

Once again, i'm sorry for everything i've done to you, for making you to lose the undying trust you had for me, and that i had make you to be disappointed in me. I'M DEEPLY SORRY. I really hope to gain back the trust you used to had for me, and to make you believe in me that i'm willing to change for you and only you.

I don't want this moment

To ever end

Where everything's nothing, without you

I'd wait here forever just to,

To see you smile'

Cause it's true

I am nothing without you

Through it all

I've made my mistakes

I stumble and fall

But I mean these words

I want you to know

With everything, I won't let this go

These words are my heart and soul

I'll hold onto this moment you know

As I'll bleed my heart out to show

And I won't let go

What can i do to atone for all my mistakes?
I'm sorry for everything.. my love.

I couldn't get you off my mind, you were all think i can think of.
It was the sweetest dream i ever had.
Every night i'll woke up in the middle of night, because i was dreaming of you.
And then, i couldn't get back to sleep.

Today i didn't see you around in school, so i felt really weird without catching a glimpse of you.
Why didn't you come school, i'm wondering. Are you sick or not feeling well? Tired or busy?
These questions were all on my mind, yes i'm very worried about you. But what can I do?
There's nothing much i could do. Everytime when i'm alone, i want so much, so much of you to call me or sms on my cellphone. But everything takes time, but i'll be forever missing and loving you. I really miss you, I never ever miss someone so so badly till this extent. The charm you have, the special character you have, has captured my heart. I will love you from afar, i will miss you from a far, i will be worrying for you from a far.
I LOVE YOU

If the heart is always searching,

Can you ever find a home?

I've been looking for that someone, I'll never make it on my own.

Dreams can't take the place of loving you,

There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

When you look me in the eyes,

And tell me that you love me.

Everything's alright,

When you're right here by my side.

When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven.

I find my paradise,

When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,

To be with you again?

Gonna tell you that I love you,

In the best way that I can.

I can't take a day without you here,

You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

Rmb when you said, there's never ending to our love?
You just mean a lot to me..

Today is the 9th day you left me. Saw you a couple of times in school.
Well, though deep down in my heart i know i miss you, but loving someone has to make one happy. I don't wanna be selfish. And from what i see, i think you're happy. But sometimes, i really don't know. I know i love you so so much, and i want you by my side so so much. The bus rides, where i lie on yr shoulder and you giving me the security. The times when you held my hand so tightly, which makes me feels that i mean so much to you. Yes, i miss the past, but most importantly, i miss you...

Bright cold silver moon

Tonight alone in my room

You were here just yesterday

Slight turn of the head

Eyes down when you said

I guess I need my life to change

Seems like something's just aren't the same

What could I say?

I stare up at the stars

I wonder just where you are

You feel a million miles away(I wonder just where you are)

Was it something I said?

Or something I never did?

Or was I always in the way?(Was it something I did?)

Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I know it feels like the end

Don't want to be here again

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care

We're gonna make it I swear

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

I love you more than ever..... &I'll definitely wait for you.
"As long as i'm together you, i don't mind anything"

I can't believe that you're doing this to me. Why must you hurt me so badly, till the extent of doing this? I thought you'll respect me as yr girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend. Because everyone needs respect. So i'm begging you, please stop doing this to me. I really detest being treated like this. But maybe yes, i deserve it. But i realized my mistake. I'm really sorry for everything. I apologized to you, ask for yr forgiveness, why can't you just forgive me? Maybe the hurt that i've brought onto you, really is deep. But now you're doing this to me, I'm far more hurt than you. I'm asking for a second chance, for a second chance to prove myself to you. You might think is too late, but is never too late if you're willing to forgive and forget, and we'll start afresh. Hereby, i wanna say that i'm sorry to you.. for everything i've done. And i'll definitely wait for you..

I love you and i'll wait for you.








I need that second chance..

Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should’ve let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give ,I was the first to ask
Now I’m in second place, to get a second chance
I should've known, took you and I for granted
Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded
Tell by your tone, I’ve taken it too far again
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again

My friends are telling me they saw you with someone
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long
I don’t know why i ever waited to say
Cuz I’m just dying just to see you again

&I'm missing you.. so so much.

I thought I could be strong enough to withstand the hurt you've brought upon me.
But i was wrong, i never thought that not having you here with me would hurt so much.
I regretted everything i did to you. Never thought that I could love someone so deeply and wholeheartedly, and yes i'm crazy over you. Words can't express how much i love you....

Today is the 7th day i'm without you. I'm sure only time can tell everything, i know i have to be patient. I'll give you the time you need. Please text me when you're ready or if you still love me, cos i'll definitely reply because i'll do anything for you <3

I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And I used to feel like dreamin'
Except we always woke up
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can't just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I'll be patiently waiting.. I love you

Dear (my love one),
Every since the day we let each other go, i've been crying every night like fuck. You were all that i can think of.From my handphone keychain, to my bag, to my ring, to my necklaces- they were all from you.It reminded me of you and me. It was so hard fr me to let go, it was such a difficult step for me.You were the one, the one who showed me what's real love is. The one who protected me from everything. The one that has been there for me even though you had yr own problems. The one that always surprise me w all yr surprises, some were big and some were small surprises- but all had brighten up my day. The one who cheered me up everytime when i'm down. The one that is always giving in to me. The one that really makes me feel loved. The one that gave me a shoulder to lean on. The one that i fucking appreciate. The one that keep my accompany every single say, without fail. The one that watch movies with me. The one that accompany me for dinner. The one that always fetch me in the morning to school without fail. The one that makes breakfast for me without fail. The one that fetch me home without fail. The one that makes me feel so secured. The one that love me ever so dearly......
It is the 5th day you left me. And i'm still thinking of you. How i wish i could turn back the time, and say i'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, for shouting at you, for talking to you so rudely, for being so mean to you at times, for scolding you, for giving you attitude. I'm deeply sorry. Now that you've gone, i really really regretted every single bad thing i did to you. But, i appreciate you so so so much. I never ever felt so sad and heartbroken before, i never ever love someone so deeply before. You were the only one, the only one who make me feel this way. Thanks for everything you did. Thanks for yr breakfast every morning without fail. Thanks for surprising me yr little surprises. Thanks for giving in to me every time. Thanks for showering me with your love. Thanks for your company w me, for movies, dinner, and bus rides. I love you so so much.......... and i'm deeply sorry......

Sincerely by,
someone who is sorry for everything she did

I know i hadn't been blogging, because i was studying for my Food and Nutrition paper.

Exams are over and done with. Now, is time to focus on other things.

&yknw i'm sitting here, feeling so down and helpless,

cos you are the one that i hold on to the most.

Thinking abt the past, abt what we did and how we loved each other so deeply,

it only makes me feel sad and my mind is so preoccupied with you.

How i wish i could turn back the time, and i wna say that i'm so sorry for everything.

For the way i treated you, i'm regretting every lil thing i did to you.

You mean so much to me and i fucking damn appreciate you so so much.

Thanks for everything, love.

Hahahah, hannah has shifted to Lakeside :D So next time we can go swim and gym tgttt!
It was such hectic week for me, what i did everyday was just studying.
&tmr i'll be taking my math and sciences. Well, i hope i'll do rly well!

I was browsing through my folders, and these are the pictures :D

Bella :D

Ivy :D

Hahaha we rly look so constipated.

Jacq&Joey :D

Hahahah, and the balloon that he surprised me with! :D

I freaking love it!

Will be posting more pictures tmrwwwwww, i'm off to study! :D

Tuition just ended, and i'm tired both physically and mentally.
When is time to end everything, you've no choice cos i know this is the best decision for both of us. When is gone, nothing can turn back the time anymore...... now i've learnt to be stronger and look on the bright side of life. Why should i be afraid of doing whatever i want? Cos it doesn't matter it to me anymore. Now i know how so much you fucking "treasure" and "love" me, by you denying that is not yr stupid fault and not even calling me or smsing me for the whole fucking day. Whatever you do for me was all a lie. Time fr me to stop being a stupid fool, and live my own life like any other girl. Since we both decided on this decision, we can't turn back the time and change our decision anymore. Goodbye.

Hi, i decided to have a new blog since so many things had happened these few months.
Thinking about my n levels, is driving me crazy. I was so busy studying throughout the whole week. Most of my good friends in the past are all gone in a blink of an eye. Most of them, my church mates. Probably is the unfaithfulness of not going church. Hahah. But now, at least i feel so much better.& I've become stronger in terms of my thinking and mentally state.

Many things don't stay the same, people change and just when i know they change, is too late.
I love you so deeply...