Why do i cry for no good reasons? Why do i feel so sad for no reasons?
No one understands how i'm feeling now.
Friends disappointed me, even you disappointed me.
I don't wish to die with regrets.
I wanna make full use of the time i have on Earth with you.
But why are you doing this to me?
I wanna spent every second, every minute with you, and not just waste it away.
Yes, i'm afraid of death cos i'm scared i'll not see you ever again when i die.
Do you understand? Do you get it?
What do you do if everyone leaves away from you?
31 October 2008
I used to enjoy my life so much. I used to love my life so much, with you. But thanks to you, for all that you've done, i hate my pathetic life so much. Life is so boring. I'm tired of everything, i'm seriously am. I never felt so fucking emo in my life. I don't even know the defination of emo in the first place. But thanks to you, the great work of you, you make me know what is it to be emo. THANKS SO MUCH.
The words you said today, i'll never ever ever ever gonna forget it. Even if i die, i'll rmb it. Cos the words you said are just so so so hurtful that i can't even forget it. Suprised that your words can be so inspiring to me huh? Surpirsed that your words can dash my hopes so quickly huh? I'm really tired of everything. You used to be my everything, you used to be my always there for me. But where were you when i needed someone so so badly? Where were you when it was the darkest period of my life? I don't wish to hate you nor be enemies. So take it as i'm begging you, stop saying all those hurtful words, stop doing things which hurt me.
You claimed that i'll be happy without you, but do you even know how i feel actually? You just left me like that, how am i suppose to take it? When my feelings grew so so much for you, when i dare to say i love you more than anyone does, when you mean so much to me, you just left me like that. You left me just because you want to, but have you considered my feelings? Have you ever wondered is this actually what i want? Yes maybe i've hurt you really a lot, but now i'm willing to learn from my mistakes, change and be a better girf.
People say I'm stupid and freaking dumb to do so much for you. And what i got back was these. But whatever is it, i'm willing and i've no regrets. But thanks for showing me what is it to do and sacrifice everything for your most love one. Now i know the true meaning of real love.
Avenged Sevenfold- Seize the day
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past
I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you
I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?
I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real
So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real
Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day [x2 then continues in the background]
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
The words you said today, i'll never ever ever ever gonna forget it. Even if i die, i'll rmb it. Cos the words you said are just so so so hurtful that i can't even forget it. Suprised that your words can be so inspiring to me huh? Surpirsed that your words can dash my hopes so quickly huh? I'm really tired of everything. You used to be my everything, you used to be my always there for me. But where were you when i needed someone so so badly? Where were you when it was the darkest period of my life? I don't wish to hate you nor be enemies. So take it as i'm begging you, stop saying all those hurtful words, stop doing things which hurt me.
You claimed that i'll be happy without you, but do you even know how i feel actually? You just left me like that, how am i suppose to take it? When my feelings grew so so much for you, when i dare to say i love you more than anyone does, when you mean so much to me, you just left me like that. You left me just because you want to, but have you considered my feelings? Have you ever wondered is this actually what i want? Yes maybe i've hurt you really a lot, but now i'm willing to learn from my mistakes, change and be a better girf.
People say I'm stupid and freaking dumb to do so much for you. And what i got back was these. But whatever is it, i'm willing and i've no regrets. But thanks for showing me what is it to do and sacrifice everything for your most love one. Now i know the true meaning of real love.
Avenged Sevenfold- Seize the day
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past
I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you
I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?
I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real
So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real
Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day [x2 then continues in the background]
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
29 October 2008
Today i woke up at 430, OMG. Cos i slept really late ytd night.
I was busy throughtout ytd. I woke up pretty early cos i'm gna meet Swenn at 11 at her place. We were gonna bake chocolate flavoured muffins. Though it was the first time that me and Swenn baked our first muffins, we decided to give it a try since is for our love ones. We hope that whatever we bake from today onwards, they'll be the ones who try it first and no one else.
As i was rushing out from my bathroom, I accidentally banged onto my bed, and my freaking little toe was stuck in between the thing under my bed.(Don't laugh) And, it bled damn damn a lot, and the worst thing is that my toe was damn pain. I put plasters on my toe, and it look really ugly though. Wore slippers instead of covered shoes. My uncle fetched me to her place and we bought our ingredients.
Amazingly, the muffins turned out really nice and tasty. So, in order to complete the gift, we wrote a letter each which werre from the bottom of our hearts.
So before i left Swenn's house, i smsed him and asked if he's home cos i wna pass the muffins personally to him. But unfortunatly, he was not home. Obviously, my heart sank cos i alr told him the day before that i'm passing to him sth. My purpose of baking for him is to tell him how much i love him, and to apologise for all my mistakes. And of couse, to see him and to see how is he doing if possible. So in the end, i was really disappointed. But still, i went over his house and place it on his shoe rack.
Well i'm quite sad that he actually didn't ask about my injury when i told him about it.. It was the first time i baked muffins for someone, and it was the first time i actually want so much to do something for my love one, but ended up hurting myself. Well, whatever is it, i hope you had tried the muffins i baked for you, cos is specially for you. I love you.
Anw to my own surprise, i actually like avenged sevenfold songs. Omggggg, i used to dislike them. But this song is really nice!
Lyrics:
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah
Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her(him) when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again
There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her(him) when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her(him) when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
I'll always be here for you.....
I was busy throughtout ytd. I woke up pretty early cos i'm gna meet Swenn at 11 at her place. We were gonna bake chocolate flavoured muffins. Though it was the first time that me and Swenn baked our first muffins, we decided to give it a try since is for our love ones. We hope that whatever we bake from today onwards, they'll be the ones who try it first and no one else.
As i was rushing out from my bathroom, I accidentally banged onto my bed, and my freaking little toe was stuck in between the thing under my bed.(Don't laugh) And, it bled damn damn a lot, and the worst thing is that my toe was damn pain. I put plasters on my toe, and it look really ugly though. Wore slippers instead of covered shoes. My uncle fetched me to her place and we bought our ingredients.
Amazingly, the muffins turned out really nice and tasty. So, in order to complete the gift, we wrote a letter each which werre from the bottom of our hearts.
So before i left Swenn's house, i smsed him and asked if he's home cos i wna pass the muffins personally to him. But unfortunatly, he was not home. Obviously, my heart sank cos i alr told him the day before that i'm passing to him sth. My purpose of baking for him is to tell him how much i love him, and to apologise for all my mistakes. And of couse, to see him and to see how is he doing if possible. So in the end, i was really disappointed. But still, i went over his house and place it on his shoe rack.
Well i'm quite sad that he actually didn't ask about my injury when i told him about it.. It was the first time i baked muffins for someone, and it was the first time i actually want so much to do something for my love one, but ended up hurting myself. Well, whatever is it, i hope you had tried the muffins i baked for you, cos is specially for you. I love you.
Anw to my own surprise, i actually like avenged sevenfold songs. Omggggg, i used to dislike them. But this song is really nice!
Lyrics:
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah
Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her(him) when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again
There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her(him) when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her(him) when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her(him) when I found her(him)
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
I'll always be here for you.....
27 October 2008
Stayed home today, cos I've no mood.
And my appetite is weird, hadn't been eating much lately.
Ever since you left me, I can't seemed to live a life that one should live.
I miss you............so so muchhhhhhhh, that even words can't express it.
"Good friends" are the two words which I really didn't mean to say to you. I said good friends but yknow deep down in my heart, you're my love, my boy, my boyfriend.
I never ever ever treated as my good friend ever, is just how i felt at that point of time because many things were happening. But i never ever ever ever treated you as a freaking good friend at all, not at all!! I can proudly say that i treated you as my beloved boyfriend ever since we started!! And not any good friend. I regretted saying how i felt, i'm sorry. But I just wna say how i feel, I'm sorry if i've hurt you in any way. I really hope you'll understand where I'm coming from. If i could turn back the time, I would definitely say: you're my beloved and sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. Maybe is my wrong of phrasing the words, maybe i pharse the words in another manner which makes you think otherwise. Sorry if i've make you mistaken. Sorry for the miscommunication. My fault for phrasing the words wrongly. I'm so so sorry. I love you, my lover sexy boy.
Words can be so powerful at times, sometimes I tend to misuse it and people will think that they are attacked by it in a negative way. It is time to watch my words, phrase my sentences properly and think before i say.
This a video of David Cook, always be my baby, which had touched my heart...
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!
You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....
You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Always be my baby
I'm sorry, i love you.
And my appetite is weird, hadn't been eating much lately.
Ever since you left me, I can't seemed to live a life that one should live.
I miss you............so so muchhhhhhhh, that even words can't express it.
"Good friends" are the two words which I really didn't mean to say to you. I said good friends but yknow deep down in my heart, you're my love, my boy, my boyfriend.
I never ever ever treated as my good friend ever, is just how i felt at that point of time because many things were happening. But i never ever ever ever treated you as a freaking good friend at all, not at all!! I can proudly say that i treated you as my beloved boyfriend ever since we started!! And not any good friend. I regretted saying how i felt, i'm sorry. But I just wna say how i feel, I'm sorry if i've hurt you in any way. I really hope you'll understand where I'm coming from. If i could turn back the time, I would definitely say: you're my beloved and sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. Maybe is my wrong of phrasing the words, maybe i pharse the words in another manner which makes you think otherwise. Sorry if i've make you mistaken. Sorry for the miscommunication. My fault for phrasing the words wrongly. I'm so so sorry. I love you, my lover sexy boy.
Words can be so powerful at times, sometimes I tend to misuse it and people will think that they are attacked by it in a negative way. It is time to watch my words, phrase my sentences properly and think before i say.
This a video of David Cook, always be my baby, which had touched my heart...
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!
You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....
You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Always be my baby
I'm sorry, i love you.
26 October 2008
I don't know what is happening to my health lately. Firstly, i have difficulty in breathing and secondly, i have damn bad flu. And my chest feels tight, thus causing the difficulty is breathing. Well, hope it'll get better soon.
Ytd went for church service with Evan and Swenn. Roam around Town. Thanks for cheering me up once again, Evan and Swenn. Reached home around 1 plus-2am.
Although i know i was tired, but i couldn't sleep. Everytime i close my eyes, is you i see. All i could think was you. Once i fall asleep, i'll start to dream of you. Once i start to dream of you, i'll startled myself and start crying. Once i start crying, i'll start to think of you again. Once i start to think of you again, i'll not be able to get back to sleep. And this cycle has been repeating itself every night. So in the end, i slept at 4am. But somehow, i'll wake up in the middle of my sleep. But there's nothing i could do about it. Thank God is holidays, if not i've been dead by then.
My mind is full of thoughts of you.
My heart is longing for your presence.
My nose yearns to smell your luscious perfume.
My eyes yearn to meet your bewitching eyes.
My ears longs to hear your pleasurable voice.
My mouth yearns to meet face to face with your mouth.
I miss you so badly, but what can I do?
Ytd went for church service with Evan and Swenn. Roam around Town. Thanks for cheering me up once again, Evan and Swenn. Reached home around 1 plus-2am.
Although i know i was tired, but i couldn't sleep. Everytime i close my eyes, is you i see. All i could think was you. Once i fall asleep, i'll start to dream of you. Once i start to dream of you, i'll startled myself and start crying. Once i start crying, i'll start to think of you again. Once i start to think of you again, i'll not be able to get back to sleep. And this cycle has been repeating itself every night. So in the end, i slept at 4am. But somehow, i'll wake up in the middle of my sleep. But there's nothing i could do about it. Thank God is holidays, if not i've been dead by then.
My mind is full of thoughts of you.
My heart is longing for your presence.
My nose yearns to smell your luscious perfume.
My eyes yearn to meet your bewitching eyes.
My ears longs to hear your pleasurable voice.
My mouth yearns to meet face to face with your mouth.
I miss you so badly, but what can I do?
24 October 2008
22 October 2008
One of my friends ask me: "What did i see in him?( Him refers to someone who i deeply love)
I replied saying: "Hm you mean before i w him? Or when i'm w him?"
And my friend replied: oh both
I replied saying: "Hm, before i w him. Is because I think he's super hot, and he just gives me this feeling that he'll always be there for me. That he's somone who is very trustworthy. And i can be protected and secured when i'm w him :) "
I replied saying: "And when i'm w him, is because he's really the nicest boyf i've had. No one makes breakfast for me before, except him. No one fetches me to school every morning without fail, except him. He just makes me feel really loved. And he has certainly become a part of my life. Like we're husband and wife. He gives me the support that i needed when i'm down. When he knows that my friends all betrayed me, he stays w me no matter what. After school, straight away find me. Recess, straight away buy me food. Before school, makes sure i go to class. Between intervals, check on me and has small conversations. Ever since i've found him, i realize that no one else could replace him. He was like the one who is for me. He knows me inside out. He throws surprises for me every now and then. This is what i call true love, he showed me the true meaning of true love :)
And my friend replied: " wakao, he's the best sia. LOL
Thanks for everything you've done for me, I know i hadn't treat you well enough in the past. But now, i know the true meaning of love, i know the true meaning of treating someone good and i love you. I'm very sorry for everything, and i regretted.
I replied saying: "Hm you mean before i w him? Or when i'm w him?"
And my friend replied: oh both
I replied saying: "Hm, before i w him. Is because I think he's super hot, and he just gives me this feeling that he'll always be there for me. That he's somone who is very trustworthy. And i can be protected and secured when i'm w him :) "
I replied saying: "And when i'm w him, is because he's really the nicest boyf i've had. No one makes breakfast for me before, except him. No one fetches me to school every morning without fail, except him. He just makes me feel really loved. And he has certainly become a part of my life. Like we're husband and wife. He gives me the support that i needed when i'm down. When he knows that my friends all betrayed me, he stays w me no matter what. After school, straight away find me. Recess, straight away buy me food. Before school, makes sure i go to class. Between intervals, check on me and has small conversations. Ever since i've found him, i realize that no one else could replace him. He was like the one who is for me. He knows me inside out. He throws surprises for me every now and then. This is what i call true love, he showed me the true meaning of true love :)
And my friend replied: " wakao, he's the best sia. LOL
Thanks for everything you've done for me, I know i hadn't treat you well enough in the past. But now, i know the true meaning of love, i know the true meaning of treating someone good and i love you. I'm very sorry for everything, and i regretted.
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